dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
