She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
