I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
