I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
