I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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