Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
