forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
