All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
