Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
