hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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