Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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