I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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