Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
