Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize