my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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