hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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