Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
