Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
