Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
