i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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