We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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