im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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