i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
