a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
