He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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