ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
