i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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