We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
