he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
3 2 1 whiskey
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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