Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
