I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
