So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
