Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
