It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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