Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
