just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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