Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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