awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
