I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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