scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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