I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
