I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
