I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
