Porn is love you can see.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
