I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
