I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
