His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
