Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
