i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
