If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize