Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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